“Everything about your smile, your laugh, the way you talk, the way you make me love you with every word you say, I’ve never found that in anyone; I want you to be my friend, my love, I want to make you my wife.”

To the person who wrote this, you have truly captured my heart.

Professor: blabla nuditity bla…

Jake: Did she just say nuditity?

Me: I believe so heh, I’m sure she meant nudity.

Professor: blablabla nuditIty blabla

Me: nuditity it is!

Professor: blabla voyeurism, fetishization and nuditity.

Jake: WTF is going on? Were you here last class?

Me: LOL no but apparently I should have been!

I was thinking about homesickness the other day and I started analyzing why I missed home so much. Why do I miss going out with my sister? Why do I miss sleeping on my mother’s lap? Why do I miss watching Cartoon Network with my baby brother? And more importantly, why do the people here (in America) not miss their families?

At first it seemed pretty obvious. First of all, I was raised in a society that was built on close family ties and second of all, I’ve lived at home my entire life! Never been away from my mom for more than 2-3 months and that’s when SHE travels and I’m still living in my house!

If I move to Italy with the future love of my life, in my own home would I still miss them? Is it THEM that I miss or is it what they represent? How do the people that live abroad do it? I’m sure they miss them but do they miss them like I miss them?? I mean they miss them after having not seen them for year! I’ve been here for nearly 2 years and I’ve been home since and i still miss them like CRAZY. I always want to know who’s doing what and who’s upset with who.

Is it a girl thing? Is it a Kuwaiti thing? Is it a human thing? MANIFAHMA but I need it to stop because I can’t miss them more than I already am. It’s stopping me from doing work and from processing things around me!

Ba3dain it’s my dream to move to italy before I’m 30, with the love of my life, and pick flowers! I don’t want to move JUST to pick flowers, I want to work there and pick flowers on my spare time :-p but flowers are involved nontheless! How am I going to do it then? I want to pick up and leave and only visit Kuwait once every year or two. So does missing the people in your life only work when you have no one to replace them with? If I had a lover and a house and a job somewhere else, would I miss them the same?

Even though I haven’t been posting lately, I’ve been reading blogs and trying to stay up-to-date with what’s been going on. I haven’t exactly been busy; it’s just that every time I sit down in front of the laptop I get amused by something else and then when I remember my blog, I don’t feel like writing anymore. I also had a summer semester and it was super easy but I was focusing on that. So yeah, I’m back for real this time! Inshallah! I have some drafts saved and so I’m going to be adding to those and posting them within the next couple of days so that I can start writing new stuff wo0t! Enjoy my darlings!

Me: EE because he’s wild AlGhanim, you are willing to date him even if he’s ugly; if he was wild Bin Khan, you wouldn’t have given him the time of day.

Shoosh: Bin khan, is that a real family name?

Me: No, I just made it up

—

Shoosh: Laish mayseer takhtha, min wilda?

Me: Bin Jareer (last name has been changed for the sake of this conversation but the Bin was there)

Shoosh: is he related to Bin Khan?

Me: LOL

I’m sorry for the times I left you home
I was on the road in the states and you were alone
I’m sorry for the times that I had to go
I’m sorry for the fact that I did not know
That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I’m sorry for the times I would neglect
I’m sorry for the times I disrespect

I’m sorry for the wrong things that I’ve done
I’m sorry I’m not always there for my son mom
I’m sorry for the fact that I’m not aware
That you can’t sleep at night when I am not there
Because I am in the streets states like everyday
Sorry for the things that I did not say
Like how you are the best thing in my world
And how I’m so proud to call you my girl mom

I understand that there are some problems
And I am not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show
If I can apologize for being wrong
Then it’s just a shame on me
I’ll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me

You can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

Sorry for the things that he put you through
And all the times you didn’t know what to do
Sorry that you had to go and sell those packs
Just trying to stay busy till you heard from Dad
And you would rather be home with all your kids
As one big family with love and bliss
And even though Pops treated us like kings

He got a second wife and you didn’t agree
He got up and left you there all alone
I’m sorry that you had to do it on your own

I’m sorry that I went and added to your grief

I’m sorry that your son was once a thief
I’m sorry that I grew up way too fast
I wish I would’ve listened and not be so bad
I’m sorry your life turned out this way
I’m sorry that the FEDS came and took me away

wallah amoot feech

Hello Earthlings,

I am aware of how long I haven’t posted and for depriving you of myself, I truly apologize. Here’s what happened:

First, I left to go to my cousin’s graduation in another state I stayed there for a few days and then we all went to Vegas for some sexy time. We were joined by Borat. After that refreshing trip, I was stuck in airports for what seemed like a week but was really a day and finally I arrived at my apartment. I had to go to school the next day because I started summer classes and if that wasn’t hectic enough, a friend visited me that same day for two days. AFTER my friend left, I was standing in my apartment looking at the filth that had accumulated over the past 2 weeks and I decided to spend the next few days cleaning. After my apartment was super clean I decided to test it and eat ice cream off the floor. It didn’t work but I gave up. For I wasn’t socialized to be a cleaner.

Now, you might say “why adorra after you were done with all your school work and your friends and cleaning, why didn’t you blog then?” I’ll tell you my darlings! After I was done cleaning, I sat down in front of my laptop to post one of the 7 or so drafts that I have already written and to add to it a bit, but then I heard a 6irbakh! and my laptop crashed! Okay I didn’t really hear anything but it DID crash. Completely and utterly and I lost ALL my files, all my pictures, all my videos, every single document that I’ve written for school, every single received file I’ve ever had. All gone with the wind. I panic and take my lovely to Circuit City where they tell me that all is lost and will never be found again. I decide to go home and cry myself to sleep but wait wait.. what’s that I hear? another 6irbakh! MY FUCKING PHONE BROKE! No 6irbakh this time as well but the phone did break. So, no phone, no laptop, no friends, no bloggy.

and THAT my babies is how the cookie crumbles.

I am now writing this from the school lab but Andrew just called me and told me that my laptop is fixed so even though I will never love it the same way I used to, I will try to forgive it. I will try with all my heart. And hopefully I will be back to blogging and posting pictures (which I did take specifically for you!) and the whole nine yards.

When I was younger I would run away from my reality by immersing myself completely in books. One book after the other, I wouldn’t stop reading until I was far far away. Now that I’m older, I realize that I ran away from my reality by coming to the US. The more I run away, the more I feel lost and now I just can’t help but ask myself; what the fuck am I running away from?

SHAL KHIFAT 6EENA?!?! IYANEN!

If I was ever to get married through my parents, I know that I would be VERY picky because I’ve already given up on love and now would just do it out of 7annat omi or to be able to wipe those pitiful frowns off of people’s faces. LAKEN if a guy like THIS ikha6ebni khi6bat ahal, ooh yargesli hal ragsa bil khi6ba WALLAH WALLAH agool ee wana shaga il basma. shino hal zogha? The guy 3alaih khifat 6eena masarat wala istiwat AND he has rhythm.

On a side note, doesn't he look like Mr. Incredible from the Incredibles?

In other news, I’ve been here for almost 2 years now and ever since I first came I’ve wanted to create some videos for my mommy and sister to see where I live and whatnot. Seeing as how I don’t have a video camera and will have to rely on my regular camera, they will be in installments. First batch taken today kanaw shway khwara li’ana I can’t really drive while holding a camera so it wasn’t a very well thought out plan. Also, I forgot to delete pictures from the memory card so I kept having to stop and delete pictures. I’ve decided to do a weekly video post of some event or another if this works out. Don’t make fun of soti, tasweeri or madeenti wa shukran! Next time, it’ll be one longer video as opposed to 3 (1-2min) videos. Enjoy!

My video-making talents are flawless, I know.

You know what really REALLY annoys me? I’ll tell you! It’s when people come up to me and tell me that I don’t look or sound like a girl who graduated from a public school in Kuwait. Or when people start talking about how girls who went to 7ikooma are less educated and more boy-crazy than girls who went to private schools. I’m not going to talk about the male-stereotypes because 1) I don’t want to keep saying him/her and 2) because I’m not AS aware of the male stereotypes as I am the female ones. Nibtidi il 7adeeth:

I graduated from a public school. I loved my high school and I love the friends that I made as a result of being there. I am not going to pretend that I am a pure bred 7ikooma girl because I only spent my high school days in one. Now, it really bothers me when people tell me that I don’t sound like a 7ikooma girl because I can speak English properly but I accept it and explain to them where I got my English from. I accept it because it is an undeniable fact that the English that is being taught at public schools in Kuwait is below par. What I don’t tolerate on the other hand is when people tell me that 7ikooma students aren’t as educated as Khasa students. It really bothers me because that remark drips of condescending ignorance. I’ll tell you why, while you were learning how to perfect your English, 7ikooma girls were taught how to speak Arabic properly, something ya 3yalt il khasa that you lack. Not all of you, just like not all of 7ikooma girls lack English skills. While you were being taught US history (which I was taught in middle school, ekh?) they were being taught the history of Kuwait and the Middle East. While you were being taught Science in English, they were being taught the exact same Science in Arabic. So tell me, PLEASE enlighten me, how the hell do you think that you were better educated? They took P.E., they took Home Ec., they took French, they took all the same classes that you took but in a different language. I’m the first person that will tell you that every person should have some understanding of the English language because it’s the most spoken language in the world and being fluent in it will help you A LOT. What it doesn’t do though, is be a determent of whether you are educated or not. On the other hand, do you know WHAT makes you look stupid? Not being able to hold a conversation in your mother tongue. Not being able to WRITE and SPEAK proper Arabic when you were raised your entire life in an Arab country. THAT is what makes you look stupid, not whether you can grasp the basic grammatical conventions of another language.

Phew! That took a lot out of me, what else did I want to talk about? Oh oh I remember, 7ikooma girls being sluttier and looser than girls that graduated from Private schools. I won’t answer this in the length in which I discussed the first matter. What I would like to say though is that, how many girls graduate from a private school per year? Let’s assume in the best case scenario that 200 students graduate from any given private school every year (the number is WAY less). If 200 students graduate every year, let’s say that 100 of them are girls. In a public school, 300 girls graduate every year (give or take some). I’ll go as far out to say that we have just as many private schools as we do public. If that was the case, a THIRD of the girls go to private schools while 2/3 go to public schools.

Let’s make this a tad more interesting using the Adorrian formula, in Kuwait we do NOT have as many private schools as we do public so in fact it could be as large as a quarter of girls go to private schools but it’s probably less than that. “People” say ina “ee ya3ni intay ra7 tilgain fas3at ib madares khasa laken mo kither ili tilgainhum ib madares 7ikooma, bil madares il khasa tilgainlech yumkin khams banat laken ib madares 7ikooma tilgainlech arba3ta3ash bint!”

Let us assume that this false statistic that you pulled out of your ass is true, Using my Adorrian formula, let’s say that the entire 16-year old female population of Kuwait consists of 100 girls. 25 girls go to a private school while 75 go to a public school. If in fact only 5 girls from the 25 are sluts then that equals 20% of the girls that go to this private school. Also, if 14 girls out of the 75 students at this public school are sluts then that equates to 18.6%. Now tell me, who is sluttier? :-)

The point of this post is not to say that fi’a mo3ayana is sluttier than fi’a okhra, I am plainly stating that obviously it seems like a bigger amount of slutty girls/lesbians is emerging from Public schools because there is an obviously bigger amount of girls in those schools! If there was an equal amount of girls in both schools then you would most likely have an equal (give or take one) amount of sluts in both.

I am completely drained from writing this and I would just like to add a small disclaimer that I have an equal amount of friends in both of these schools. I don’t think that one group is smarter than the other, I also don’t think that one group is sluttier than the other. I think they are both equally smart and slutty (or lack of). If you think this is offensive, then I’m sorry it wasn’t meant to be. The only way that you could actually perceive this post as offensive is if you in fact are from a private school, and if you DO think it is offensive that I think that you are JUST as smart as a girl from a Public school, then STFU I intended to offend you.

Also, this post does not apply to Arabic Private schools, only English and American ones. Wa shukran!

Most girls that I know have made some deal or another with a guy they know (usually a good friend) where if they both get to a certain age and neither are married then they’ll marry each other. How this usually works is that both female/male partners are quite similar and are kind of sure that they won’t easily find someone who will fit the criteria they have for a perfect life-mate.

The good amount of deals to make is 3 because especially in Kuwait, people get married REALLY fast and most deals fall through, some friends you lose touch with, others have girlfriends/boyfriends and whatnot. Anyway, I had two of those deals, one was more realistic than the other. The other is just sort of like a passing agreement not one that was deeply thought out and analyzed to the last minute detail.

My real agreement just fell through. I’m so fucking devastated (ok not really) but I’m upset. My realistic pact-buddy just got engaged. I mean he was MINE. he was MY back up and now he’s not. Now I have to actually start looking for potential marriage partners. I mean I’m no where near the age where I should even remotely worry or even want to get married but herein lies the problem. If I was to look for a guy who would be a back up, it would have to be someone I trust and love and can actually coexist with and right now, none of my current guy friends fall under that category. I love them to death but I wouldn’t share a bathroom with them. On the other hand, if I was to look for a serious relationship, one most likely ending in a ring around my finger then that’s just as tiring! Both need years of work!

I am starting the official search for a potential pact-buddy. If you think that you would be an eligible candidate for this position then please send in a resume, a personal picture, and a 500-word essay describing why you think I should pick you. Girls, if you have more than 3 deals than I would just like you to know that sharing is caring. Some girls have one or none! Don’t be selfish! :-p

I’m really happy for him. I’m glad he found someone that he wants to share the rest of his life with. I just think he should have waited for me to find MY someone too! Bastard.